To the adult child of the psychopath/narcissist: Do you want to know why you are so afraid to acknowledge the truth about your Mom or Dad or both? About maybe even your siblings if they are disordered too? Because you know they don’t love you. This truth is the most devastating of all. Acknowledging this truth is the most painful experience you will ever live through…
(quote from here)
Yes. Yes it was. Yes it is.
And yet… I am living through it. In fact there is a sense of relief, of knowing that yes, my instincts and my intuition and the things I have learned from being around normal, loving people were all correct, absolutely on target. That my desire to seek out health, instead of abuse, is what has led me down this path of learning and understanding, instead of excusing and blaming. That going no contact with my siblings was the right thing to do in pursuit of that health, and in the rejection of that abuse.
I [don’t] exist as a human being to them, worthy of love and respect.
Yes, it sucks, but the only alternative they are willing to make available sucks worse.