“In fact, talking to our [family] about the things they’ve done to upset us is one of the best ways for us to discover who they really are. If our [family] are compassionate and responsive to what we tell them and are willing to change the problematic behaviors, it’s proof that they truly care about us.
“If, on the other hand, they deny what they’ve done, get angry at us for bringing it up, or tell us that we’re over-reacting [trifecta!], this demonstrates that they aren’t willing or able to negotiate the relationship in good faith. Confrontation, for this reason, is an ideal way of distinguishing between our real and false [family].
The only relationships at risk from confrontation are the ones not worth maintaining.”