Attachment panic is the same thing that a baby feels when his mother looks at him with no expression, aka the Still Face Procedure. When the baby gets no emotional and visual feedback that his mother loves him and is attuned to him, he feels that the relationship is not secure, and this causes panic. Why? Because he is a mammal, and mammals need relationships to survive.
At Dad’s memorial service, I met one of his brothers, my uncle, for one of the very few times in my life. He looked so much like my dad, it was startling.
But when I looked at his face, that familiar, loved face — there was no sign of recognition, no love, nothing. I saw my father’s eyes, but with no love in them.
I still remember that as one of the very worst moments. And I still miss my dad.