Without using actual names*, the cast of this drama can be a little hard to follow. Here is a guide.
- My Dad
- My Mom, a narcissist
- My sister, 17 years my senior, who “refuses to get involved”
- My oldest brother, 16+, who thinks I need to “just get over it”
- Next brother, 14+, Joe Henchal, who is married to Susan Henchal, an even worse narcissist
I refer to the three siblings above as “The Triumvirate”. I suspect that my mother considered her family to be finished at this point. They certainly are given to think that they are the ones whose opinions matter, who run things, who are in charge, and who get to tell us younger siblings how we should act. I am 45, and as recently as within the past year, I have been reminded by one of them that “I used to change your diapers, you know.” Because that gives him some kind of authority over me. *eyeroll*
They also have a fierce loyalty to each other that does not extend to the rest of us.
(7 year gap – I assume my parents had no sex at all, probably because my mother felt her family was finished, and there’s no reason to have sex other than for having kids, right?)
- Next brother, 7+
- Last brother, 3+, who told me that there is no point in me “digging up the past like this” and that I am “tearing the family apart”. (Guess what? I’m not the one who started THAT project. Although, just possibly I will finish it.)
* I have deliberately left out names of everyone but two people: the ones who treated me so horribly when my father died, and who have continued to maintain that they did nothing wrong. Decide for yourself.